Tonight at dinner, my friend Ruthie asked me the best question ever. It was so good that it caught me off guard. All week long, I’ve been catching up with friends over lunches and lattes and attempting to answer the obvious inquiry to someone in my current state, “So, what are you going to do next?”
This evening was different. Though I had arrived all geared up with my usual arsenal of answers to justify what I thought I might do post-employment, none of these canned responses were adequate to address the question that fell into the conversation before me.
“What is it that you are most excited about right now?” she asked.
I paused a moment. I wasn’t sure what to say. My prepared answers all talked about my sort of “plan”. But as I sat in silence for a minute of thinking, I realized something amazing.
The little bit of a plan I’ve concocted in order to socially engage in conversation about my employment status doesn’t make my heart race with excitement. What I’m really most excited about right now, if I must be honest, is this:
I really have no real plan at all.
The state of lacking a plan may feel paralyzing and frightening to some, but I see it differently. What I’m excited about right now is living in the expectation of what is to come. I’m excited about not having a plan, because its absence extends the boundaries of possibility.
As I think about all of the stories that I’ve shared during this small month, there is an obvious thread of learning and reflecting. Looking backward at my own history, I can’t help but remember that every time I’ve made a major transition, I’ve done so without knowing where the path ahead of me led. (An invisible journey of sorts)
Although the living in the unknown is never uncomplicated, I’d be remiss if I failed to note that each of those occasions where I’ve had to step out in faith eventually led me to something beyond what I could imagine.
Emily Dickinson penned it poetically, “I dwell in possibility…”
While I may not have a real plan for what is ahead, I do know that what comes next will be bigger and better than anything I have dreamed. I’m excited when I’m able to get my eyes off of the unknown and dwell in this place of possibility.
What are you most excited about these days?